The most important details in this text are that it is important to recognize the help that family members provide to the household and to express appreciation in a way that they recognize it. It is also important to determine the primary love language of each family member and to conduct research on them to determine their primary love language. If you express your appreciation in one of the four secondary love languages that rank below your husband's primary love language, he may not feel fully appreciated and may gradually reduce his input over time.
The most important details in this text are that each individual has a unique love language that they use to express gratitude, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service. To help a family member or friend who is feeling unappreciated, take an inventory to determine their primary love language and try to show them three small doses of love in THEIR preferred love language. After 20 days, send them an email and tell them about the differences that resulted from their giving love in the way they needed it.
Work done around a house or apartment has to be some of the least appreciated work ever created. Whether it's weekend yard work, plumbing emergencies, or daily dishes and errands, we often overlook the help that our spouse and children provide on a regular basis.
Part of the reason that being at home is so exhausting for some is that the ongoing work of maintaining a regular life is hardly regarded as special.
We never forget to express our gratitude for trips to Hawaii or Prague (gift love-language).
We are giddy with delight after a full-body massage (touch love-language).
We cherish all of our one-on-one conversations (quality time love-language).
But what about charitable contributions? Do we recognize them? .................... on occasion.
When someone in your household consistently contributes to the household's survival, be sure to thank them. The trick is to express your appreciation/love in such a way that they recognize it.
Determine the primary love language of each family member who contributes to the smooth operation of your household. Then show them your love by speaking to them in that language. Assume your husband mows the lawn and fixes electrical problems around the house. He irons, walks the dog, changes the baby in the middle of the night, and hand waxes your car after every wash. Now, he is clearly expressing his love for you and your family through the language of gifts of service.
Does this imply that you must return the favor in order for him to feel loved? Sometimes. In some cases, being catered to or waited on will make him feel loved and appreciated. He may, however, have grown up watching his father do those things and simply believes that is how to show love. This is one way he contributes, but it does not demonstrate that it is his love language.
Conduct research on him. Determine his PRIMARY love language so that when he contributes to the household in any way, you will know how to express your gratitude appropriately.
I bring this up because if you express your appreciation in one of the four secondary love languages that rank below your husband's primary love language, he may not feel fully appreciated. He may eventually feel taken advantage of, and he may gradually reduce his input in this manner over time. So, if you want the assistance to continue, be sure to express your gratitude in HIS primary language.
For example, if "Tomprimary "'s language is touch, then hugs, kisses, and caresses would be appropriate ways to express gratitude.
If "Tomprimary "'s language is gifts, perhaps a new golf club or video game would be a nice way to say Thank You.
If "Tomprimary "'s love language is words of affirmation, be sure to praise him both during and after his service.
If "Tom" values quality time, go somewhere alone to hang out and spend time together, or put the kids to bed early so you can cuddle and talk.
Finally, if "Tom" values love primarily through the giving and receiving of acts of service, find ways to contribute to his life through acts of service—pick up dry cleaning, wash his car, have dinner ready, get the house and kids cleaned before he gets home, and so on.
As I've previously stated to several of you.... We speak five distinct languages.
It is not enough to choose one and tell everyone in the house.
If your child is a "touch" child and you primarily use words of affirmation to show love... Most likely, they are not feeling ALL of the love you are attempting to express. A simple hug or toe-touching while watching a video would go a long way for that "touch" kid.
Every individual is distinct. And as a result, they create their own world. It is possible to show someone a LOT of love while they complain that they are not loved at all / or not enough. This is a simple and heartbreaking truth. The reason for this is that they register love primarily in a love language that you do not use to reciprocate.
So let's get that fixed!!
If you have a family member or a friend who is feeling unappreciated, take an inventory to determine their primary love language.
Then, for 20 days, try to show them three small doses of love in THEIR preferred love language.
After 20 days, send me an email and tell me about all the differences that resulted from your giving love in the way they needed it.
Until the next time
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